With all due apologies to Paul Simon, here is an updated version of his classic 1970’s song, “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover,” more suited to America’s modern midriffs…
Eat a meal with bran, Ann.
Try adding some flax, Max.
Then get up on that Arc, Marc
And watch those pounds melt off.
Spend more time in the gym, Tim.
Log more miles on the Cybex, Rex.
Try the Recumbent Bike, Mike.
Have a post-workout shake, Jake.
Mix in some whey, Ray; and watch those pounds melt away.
Head back to the gym, Jim.
Do reps to failure on the tricep dip, Chip.
Follow a written food plan, Stan.
Don’t ride on the bus, Gus.
You can walk those extra blocks and burn more, Lenore.
Now drink some green tea, Lee; and great results you’ll see.
Try a new level on the Cybex treadmill, Bill.
Don’t fear the Cybex Leg Press, Bess.
Cybex has several machines, Jean—to keep you toned and lean.
The Lat Pulldown sets will strengthen your back, Jack.
Do three sets of the Arm Curl, Pearl.
Try the Bent Arm Row, Flo—and sleek muscles you will grow.
Did you know that diets fail over 95% of the time! Studies show that in fact, after a short term success, people regain all the weight lost plus an additional 10%.
Some people think that diets fail because they are on the “wrong” diet. Some think that THEY failed. Others think diets fail because the initial motivation to diet wears thin as lack of satiety sets in.. And still others blame our culture that constantly teases us with so many delicious foods to eat, so many celebrations to attend, and so much peer pressure to snack with your co-workers at the office. All of these are correct and contribute to the problem, but they miss the main point, the elephant in the room--emotional eating.
Diets fail because there are times in life when having food for a reward or food as a means of distraction or food as a way to control painful feelings, is much too immediate and seems much more important than the long range outcomes of healthy eating. Everyone is an emotional eater to some degree. Try being more mindful the next time you sit down to eat.
Guest Blogger and Fitness Enthusiast